If you think about the word “food” – it appears to not have any power.  It has no control – it is just something we need to maintain bodily functions and health.

You see when I was about 14-15 I weighed about 188 lbs.  I was pretty heavy.  I already had my experience on diets and weight programs.  Then I watched a Mike Douglas afternoon talk show, where super models talked about binge and purge tips.  Remember this was back in 1974, didn’t really know much about bulimia.

Then I started losing weight quiet fast in the beginning.  I wasn’t binging too much, but everything I ate  threw up.  I ended up int he hospital twice during my high school years.  Finally when I joined the Navy -I seemed to put it in the past and was eating healthy and exercising.

Thought that part of my life was over, even my mother thought I would out grow it.  Then after 2 years in the military weight starting creeping up and so.  I started purging.  It was horrible habit, but it worked again.  I lost weight and everyone was amazed by my eating habits and still losing weight.  I was hooked.   Even after I was married I continued the habit.  I would turn on the bath tub water and purge – thinking that would block the noise of purging.

I believe that my bulimia affected my ability to get pregnant and went through years of treatments, but finally in 1987 I got pregnant.  During my pregnancy I really felt it was a license to eat.  So I tripped the scales at 199 when I delivered my sons.  They came 10 weeks early, so image if I could have gone full term, I would have been over 200.

It took me many years to overcome the bulimia, but I did, but I never overcame the desire over eating or the desire for “food.”   I am an expert on calories and how many almonds make up a serving.  I can tell you what “good” carbs are and bad ones.  So what is the obsession with “food.”

Well – not sure, but I can tell you that “food” became my “god,”  I didn’t worship it, but I desired it more then my relationship with God, people and my children.  It does not hold the power it once did, but I still desire it.  The bad thing about the addiction of food, is that you need it.  You are pressed to consume it and fast food and restaurants make it easy to desire it and even stuff yourself with a dessert after stuffing yourself.

So here I am on one more program, and I know that I can fail, I proved that I can fail at dieting.  I know that exercise has to be a part of the equation.  So here is one more attempt, but I feel so much better – so even if I fail again, I know that this is the right path.  So I decided to walk in 5K run/walks int he DC area.  Why not, it gets me out in the fresh air and I am doing my part for some good causes.

I think this time I will keep moving forward, but failure isn’t an option this time.  For my health and wealth I must succeed.  I add wealth, because joining and being in so many weight programs over the years – it has cost me a great deal of money.

My pray to my Father in heaven is that he has given me power over food already and I just have to grab it.  So I praise my Lord, He has already given me the victory.

1 Corinthians 15:57

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Each day is a new slate and thank goodness we get to start over. Today – I choose to follow my God and be an example of one of his followers.

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